urrgh i appear to have lost at least half a stone by being miserable and not having an appetite...

not how i want to loose weight...

out of all the people in the world he is the one im closest too and the depth of my feelings scares the shit out of me...

hughe deserves a medal for putting up with a dickhead like me for so long... All I do is cause him headaches...

the old girl is still going, my housemate says she has settled down a bit this morning but i dont know what bloodly planet she is on...

i fully expect tink to be dead in the morning.... she has howled and howled all evening, hasnt sit still for more the 2 mins and is entirely out of sorts. She isnt in pain and isn't guarding anywhere. She has pissed all over the kitchen over the last 2 days and has not really eaten this evening. I used to see people get this agitated at the hospice... they normally wern't there the next shift... she just seemes really confused and frightened...

the horrid limpet demanding mad girlfriend is my name

ok i really need a job for January now....

i think i might need to think about moving house, possibly to london next year. I'm sick of spending all my time yearning to be near people I love.

I have cried so much about my dad today, my heart aches, I miss hughe and everything feels alot worse than it acutally is...

I have been hiding in oxford from what happened with my dad and I realise that everytime I come home. Im dreading xmas, paul is away and I'm going to be at home on xmas day with just me and my mom. Im terrified its going to break my heart.

small victory against o2, they are gonna replace my phone under warrenty despite it being a mobile that i brought off ebay and me being on pay as you go

i mean its just fucking embarrassing being this much of a prick

weekend is for more cuddles with hughe hopefully

I am of the opinion that there is a certain type of nutrition of which chocolate biscuits are the only known source...

i think i might be feeling a shade better. The urge to kill most of the population for being dickheads is returning...

Getting the internal mic working with ubuntu 9.10 (Karmic Koala) and getting spotify to run abit more reliably under wine requires you to upgrade alsa as it seems the most recent version of alsa wasn't quite ready in time for the 9.10 release and is 1.0.20 version only.

If you follow the tutorial in the link below it should work first time, its not well documented anywhere yet that this solves the broken internal mic thing but it does!!


http://monespaceperso.org/blog-en/2009/08/31/upgrade-alsa-1-0-21-on-ubuntu-jaunty-9-04/

other thing to bear in mind, certainly if you are running the netbook remix of 9.10 is that you need to have the sound recorder program installed and this then gives you access to the sound configuration dialogue under the system > preferences menu. In my experience you have to have the mic amplified quite a lot (all most full whack) to get it to pick up at all.

Hope this saves someone the several hours of googling - I finally found this documented but for HP mini laptops but not everyone will realise they are essentially the same machine.

also for reference, the compaq documentation is wrong on the maximum memory installable in a COMPAQ 110C I whacked 2 gig in mine and it registers and works fine, it only has one ram slot mind so you will need a single 2 gig board. Compaq claims it can only have 1 gig max...

doctors on tuesday. Have been hiding in london being a needy lump at hughe

phone is broke. cant send texts...

i have been ignorning livejournal, not deliberatley... just through lazyness and most people i kinda keep track of via face book cuz they dont update anymore :)

i have been thinking about doing some writing, about my music and where it came from and how i learned and stuff as I took a more none traditional path to where I am now... however i may just end up sounding like a pretentious cunt which banging on about music tends to make you sound...

dear user, please forgive me for my tardiness in responding to your request for help. I was so bowled over by enormity of the decision of which of the "Sainsburys chocolate biscuit selection" would accompany my forthcoming, well earned cup of tea, that I just plain forgot that you rang. naughty biscuits